While in Portland last week I read Catfight, by Leora Tanenbaum. It was only $7 at Powell’s, and I figured maybe in a different city, without any of my friends around, I could really examine why I can’t stand most women.
You’ve heard it all before: lots of women don’t have that many female friends, having found other women too catty and competitive to be around. I have finally amassed a small group of female friends, but our basis for getting along is that we are the girls with lots of guy friends, we are the girls who find other girls annoying, and we are strong, blunt, and intellectual, with a good sense of humor. But I feel like I’m getting too old to be the girl who only hangs out with guys. Hence, deciding to read Catfight.
Tanenbaum does a good job of situating the reader in a historical context of competition between females. She covers the problem ad nauseum, including work, relationships, style, motherhood, and politics. Then she covers areas in which women do have more cooperative relationships, namely, sports and the women’s sufferage movement.
It’s all quite interesting, but I didn’t leave the book feeling with the answers I was hoping for. A big omission, in my opinion, was competition between females in the nuclear family. Some mothers compete with their daughters, and some sisters compete with one another. For those of us who came from a family with those types of issues, being sensitive to competition is an inherent skill. I wondered why Tanenbaum didn’t mine that area for wealth. Since the family of origin is the primary relationship, it would make sense that we would pick up those competitive behaviors there.
But I think it’s easier to lay the blame at the feet of societal forces than to point at the almighty Mother. Maybe that’s the book I should write.
