Reason #1354 why Rogue 2 is the best work buddy ever. Our lunchtime conversations are similar to this one:
Rogue 2: That purple nubby is sure getting a workout.
Chauncy: Sad, but true.
Rogue 2: Don’t break the damned thing.
Chauncy: What the hell would I do if that happened?
Rogue 2 (looking down at hand): Fingers, don’t fail me now!
The conversation that made the phrase ”dick in a bag” the logical successor to dick in a box:
K: He returned everything? Even your cookies?
P Yeah.
K: The cookie thing is weird. Do you think his girlfriend told him to remove every trace of you from his house?
P: If that’s the case, he should’ve taken his dick off and put it in the bag.
“Cemeteries. Saunas. Train platforms. Store-rooms. Art galleries. Fields. Vans. Oral sex. Anal sex. Abortions. Fat men. Thin men. Filthy, naked men that she never saw again. ”
Who knew stories about sex in hundreds of places, in hundreds of ways, could be so damn boring?
This summer, Rogue 2 and I were fortunate enough to see Cat Power perform at the Trocadero. Ladies, if you ever wanted to clock the exact moment a guy’s balls turn blue from wanting someone so badly but not being able to have her, take Rogue 2 to see Chan Marshall strum her guitar. It was like watching a man with a wifflle bat in his pants.
I think everyone fell a little bit in love that night, ladies included. She was just so damned pretty and her voice was haunting yet powerful. It was like watching a formerly caged animal prowl the stage. She even alluded to her caged self, that cage being alcohol and drug abuse. And I must admit, it was funny watching Rogue 2′s baseball bat shrivel up into his stomach as the show drew to a close.
Check out today’s Times article on Cat Power. Then try to see her for yourself.
Orgasms: everybody wants one and everyone blames her partner when she’s not having enough of them. Or vice versa. In Parker Posey’s new movie The Oh in Ohio, Paul Rudd’s angrily pudgy character blames his wife not only for their poor sex life, but for everything that has gone wrong in the years since their marriage. If that sounds a little one-note to you, you probably won’t enjoy this film. But if you ever knew a guy who seemed to define himself by an odd mathematical formula such as length X girth to the nth power (with n being the number of times he makes his girl come), then you’ll probably find this film funny.
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